Mental Health First Aid: Your Guide to Supporting a Friend Who’s Struggling

 

Introduction

Whether it is the mental health of a friend or a loved one, in an era where mental health discussions have become quite popular, most of us remain unprepared to handle such a situation. We desire to assist, yet we usually do not know where to start, how to speak, and where the boundary between assistance and crossing the line is. Mental health first aid is the blend between professional intervention and caring friendship - a set of skills that enable the common people to offer effective immediate assistance to a mentally or emotionally unstable person.

The reason why mental health first aid is a pressing matter today more than ever is simple: one out of every five adults have a mental condition, but they can be silent about the illness due to stigma or fear or they cannot find professional help. Mental health first aid, just like physical first aid, will stabilize a person until medical care is available; it will help a person to avoid the crisis, make him/her feel less isolated, and refer one to the right professional service. It is simply being willing to meet the people at their level, provide the non-judgmental ear, and know that there are times when all you need is the ability to listen.

Peer-to-peer support has been required more and more lately. As the levels of anxiety, depression and burnout increase, especially among the younger adults, professional mental health services tend to become too tapped and unavailable. The first line of defense is often friends, family members and colleagues. Learning the basic mental health first aid, you are not attempting to be a replacement of therapists or psychiatrists. Rather, you are establishing a good atmosphere in which someone feels free enough to obtain additional assistance. You are also helping change the culture in which mental wellbeing is treated just as highly as physical health, and that hardships are treated with compassion and empathy, not judgment.

This is a detailed step-by-step guide on how to identify signs of distress, help start a challenging conversation, be a good listener, promote professional assistance, and continue to take care of yourself at the same time. In the end, you will have workable resources to become a more enlightened, empathetic and efficient support person to the people in your life.

 

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Recognizing When a Friend Might Be Struggling

You must be aware of when help may be required before you will be able to help. Mental health issues do not necessarily come in very dramatic forms; they can sometimes be expressed in form of overlooked behavior, mood or habits. The first one is to be observant, without being intrusive.

Typical emotional symptoms are continued sadness, hopelessness, or cries; being irritable, angry, or frustrated about minor aspects; worthlessness, guilt, the feeling that one is trapped or burdened; or a sense of being numb in emotions or detached.

The behavioral changes to observe include withdrawal of socialization, i.e. canceling plans, refusing to participate in gatherings or events, disappearance in group chats; lack of personal hygiene, chores, or duty; poor performance in work or schoolwork; increased consumption of alcohol, drugs, and other risky behaviors; loss of interest in hobbies, activities that they used to enjoy; and verbal statements such as I am just so tired or What is the point? which indicate underlying distress.

The physical symptoms are also disregarded and can tell a lot. They may involve major weight change or change in appetite; sleeping too much or too little; unaccountable aches, pains, or digestive problems; perpetual fatigue even when getting enough sleep; and seeming necessarily agitated or slow in their movements.

It is a very important difference when normal stress becomes a matter of concern. Stress is a normal aspect in life but only becomes troublesome when it is chronic, overwhelming and starts to weaken day to day activities. Essential question: Have you over two weeks taken this change? Is it impairing their capacity to work, prepare or sustain relations? Do they feel their emotions out of proportion to what is going on? When the answer is in the yes, it is probably more than the daily stress. A second warning sign is when the personality of an individual appears to have gone through a complete transformation the party of life that no longer desires any interaction, the high-performing person who is no longer interested in deadlines, the person that is positive that cannot see the future.

Trust your instincts. When it does not work, then it is likely to be not right. You do not need to diagnose your friend; it is a job of a professional. You are supposed to pay attention, pay attention to and contact.

 

Approaching the Conversation

It is intimidating to start a discussion on mental health. You may fear to say the wrong things, offend your friend, and worsen the situation. However, sometimes even the most basic gesture of letting you know you are cared about can be life-saving.

The possibilities of how to select the appropriate time and place. Privacy and comfort are key. Select an environment in which you will not be disturbed and your friend feels relaxed- a quiet stroll, a parked car or a house instead of a filled-up coffee shop. Time is also important, you cannot discuss the subject at the time when one of you is in a hurry, when you are stressful, or when you are distracted. You may begin by saying, “I want to know how you are doing. Is now a good time to talk?”

What to say (and what not to say). Start with I statement so that it is possible to express concern without being accusatory. E.g.: I have noticed that you have been terribly closed off recently, and I am worried about you, or I care about you, and I have been wondering what is actually going on with you. Do not ask dramatic, leading questions such as Are you depressed? or You are not thinking about hurting yourself, are you? (unless there is an instant indication that the person is in crisis- more on this later). Rather open-ended: “How have you been feeling recently? or You do not look like yourself. Want to talk about it?”

Employing non-judgmental/supportive language. The tone that you use must not be alarming. Avoid sentences where you are dismissing or downplaying e.g. Everybody is down every now and then or it could be worse. Please do not give unwarranted tips or easy solutions: “Oh, just do yoga/meditation/positive thinking! Rather than that, adopt validating language: That sounds really hard, it makes sense to feel that way or I am here with you. Keep in mind, it is not necessary to resolve their problems in a single discussion but create an opening and demonstrate that they are not the only ones.

In case your friend is not in a position to speak, then respect. You can say, “That’s okay. It only means that you know you can visit me anytime you want to chat. Leave the invitation open.

 

Listening with Empathy

Listening is the best thing to do once you have started the conversation. Listening is an act of care in itself and a real listening without pre-planning what you will say or rushing to solutions.

Techniques of active listening. The eye contact should be comfortable (not staring). Adopt open body language -lean forward, not crossing the arms. Give minor verbal responses: I see, go on or tell me more. Summarize what they have already told you to make them know that you have been paying attention to what they said: So, what I am hearing back is that you have been feeling overwhelmed in your job and that it is beginning to take a toll on your sleep. Use clarifying questions: not to sound pushy, ask questions like: What was that like to you? How did that make you feel?

Checking emotions vs. facing the challenge of fixing things. This is, probably, the most difficult and but most important. The first thing that a person needs is often to be proved to be right, and we tend to problem-solve when a person is going through a difficult moment. The statement of I know why you feel so or Your feelings are not wrong can be even more effective than any advice. Do not be quick to give solutions that they are not requesting. You may say, Are you seeking advice, or do you only want me at this moment to listen to you?

Minimization, assumption, and comparisons should be avoided. Do not say: I know just how you feel, you may have gone through a similar experience, but you really do not know their inside world. But rather, attempt: I cannot imagine how difficult that is, but I want to know. Do not compare their lot with others (But see Sarah she is so much worse off!). Reduce their suffering with platitudes (Everything happens; it works). And do not think you see what is best in them. You are there to be a helpful witness not to be a savior.

Silence is okay. Give breaks in the conversation- it will create space in your friend to process and speak out when they feel like.

 

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Encouraging Professional Help

Whereas your assistance is priceless, it cannot be classified as a replacement of professional care. Friends lack training on how to be therapists, counselors and psychiatrists. One of the most significant things that you can do is to softly persuade your friend to enlist further assistance.

The way to hint at therapy, counseling or helplines. Normalize the concept: “Thinking that speaking with a therapist can be a very helpful thing to do, a lot of people feel having an advisor to their thoughts and feelings. Make it seem like a strength, not a weakness: “It takes a most daring thing to seek help when you require. predict to be of assistance: Want me to do some research and see what therapists are like on the internet or what your insurance covers? Offer valuable materials: give the contact to one of the crisis text lines (text HOME to 741741 in the U.S.), 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or suggest an online directory, such as Psychology Today.

What about when they are defiant or humiliated. Examples of pushbacks are: therapy is a preserve of mad people; I can manage this alone or it is too costly. Show sympathy: “I understand that it is sometimes hard to contact a stranger. Yet therapists are brought up to deal with just these sorts of feelings. Make the stigma an open discussion: “Therapy is like a doctor who has a broken bone it is healthcare. In case of cost being a barrier, recommend something less expensive: community health center, sliding-scale clinic, university counseling training program or digital therapy application with financial aid.

Realizing your limits as a friend. Be honest on what you are able and unable to offer. You can tell me, I am always ready to listen, however, I am not a professional. Another therapist might provide you with instruments that I do not possess. This does not mean denying them, it is just making sure that they receive the maximum support. In case they are not willing, do not coerce. You may set the seed and come back to it: “Just think it over. The proposal to assist you in seeking is never rejected.

 

Offering Practical Support

Emotional support is essential, although practical assistance can alleviate colossal pressure in the situation when a person is finding difficulties coping with everyday life.

Helping with day-to-day tasks. Ask, what is one thing you have on your plate that is overwhelming to you? It can be shopping in the grocery store, laundry, walking their pet, or making a meal. Give specific assistance, not a generalized “Let me know, have you to ask me to do anything? Whine, I am going to the store tomorrow. I could run over and get you a couple of things or I got a big pot of soup. Can I drop some off for you?” Service can be small but can be important in alleviating stress.

Checking in regularly. Consistency matters. A simple text— “Thinking of you. There is no need to respond. --can make them aware they are not forgotten. Book hanging out time when it is not a busy time: “Would you like to visit and have a movie? No talking required.” Make a follow up when they have communicated something challenging: “So, how are you doing since the last time we communicated? But give them space, you see, they need space, too.

Determining coping patterns jointly. You can get to know about healthy coping mechanisms when they feel like it. Question, what has made you feel a little better at least temporarily? It may be taking a walk, listening to music, journaling or a creative hobby. Proposal to come with them: “Would you like to go out with me this weekend? It is best to avoid telling them what to do, but rather to find out what works with them together.

It is not aimed at taking over their life, but only to help them through with a helping hand so that they can save on their energy so as to heal.

 

When the Situation Is Serious

Although the majority of mental health challenges cannot be considered a crisis, it is important to be aware of when a case is an emergency and needs an immediate solution.

Such warning signs of crisis are talking about how he/she wants to die/commit suicide; seeking means of trying to take his/her life; talking about how hopeless, trapped, or burdensome she/he is; increasing drug or alcohol misuse; self-destructive or reckless behavior; extreme mood swings; saying good-by to people as though it were the last time; giving away the valued things. Contagious and incontrollable panic attacks or a total loss of reality (psychosis) are also emergencies.

The question of when to contact an adult or professional one can be trusted. In case you think that your friend is in a danger of causing harm to others or themselves, leave with him or her. Your position changes into an advocate of safety. You should not be below 18 years of age, and hence you should engage an adult that you can trust at any moment- a parent, school counselor, or teacher. When you get to adulthood, it is possible that you would have to call a crisis line, take them to an emergency room, or call 911 (or the local emergency number). It is an awkward move but the secrecy is insignificant when it is a matter of saving a life. You may tell your friend; I am too much concerned about him to keep this a secret. I need to get you help.”

Emergency resources. The following numbers should be available:

·       988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (United States of America and Canada): Call or text 988.

·       Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

·       The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth): 1-866-488-7386 or START to 678678.

·       National Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799- 7233.

·       Your local police: 911 (or equivalent)

In case you cannot determine whether it is a crisis, call a helpline yourself to get some advice. They have nothing to lose doing so.

 

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Taking Care of Yourself Too

It may be emotionally stressful to take care of a person with mental health issues. You have to take care of your own wellbeing in order not to burn out and continue to be a good support.

The reasons why their boundaries are the supporters needed. There are no selfish boundaries but sustainable ones. You may have to establish boundaries by when you are available to chat (e.g. not after 10 PM), what you can comfortably discuss and what assistance you can realistically offer. Explain them in a friendly way: I love you, and I must go offline after 9 PM to get some rest so I could see you in the day time. Nothing wrong with telling it, I do not know how to help regarding that, but we can find someone who does.

Preventing Emotional burnout. Monitor yourself both emotionally and physically. Are you always restless, annoyed, or tired? Do you not take care of yourself? Engage in self-care that makes you a better person- work out, hobbies, time outdoors or meditate. Never assume the position of a therapist. It is not to be a clinician, but to be a friend. When you start to think that you are the one who makes them happy or heal, it is an indication that you should start drawing your boundaries once again.

Seek your own support. Discuss your emotions with someone you trust, or even think of talking to the counselor. Helping others will raise your own feelings and it is important to have an outlet. Do not forget about the safety rule in airplanes: wear your oxygen mask first before you help others.

 

Conclusion

Mental health first aid is not about being the most informed. It is knowing how to find the guts to pose the question: "Are you okay?" and how to listen to the actual response. To cause a significant change in the life of a person, one does not need to have a degree in psychology. Most of the time, the most valuable present you can give is your judgment free presence and assuring them that they are not the only ones who are struggling.

The role of caring connection cannot be overestimated. In a society where we seem to place more emphasis on productivity than on people, solutions rather than listening, sitting with someone in his/her pain is a drastic gesture of love. Our education, the de-stigmatization of ourselves and one another, and our attendance of each other make our communities not only more supportive but also more resilient.

You may not heal your friend, but you can make them feel seen, feel valued and supported in walking their own journey to healing. That in itself is the gift of a life.

 

FAQs

Q1: What will I do in case my friend becomes angry or even closes the door to me when I want to speak?

A: Don’t take it personally. They can be frightened, protective or unprepared. Will you please retract, leave the door open: I am sorry I was so abrupt. I just care about you. I will be around as long as you want to communicate.

 

Q2: What is the frequency of visits to a struggling friend?

A: There’s no magic number. A fast visit at least once or twice a week is always welcome. The most important thing is balance; you do not want to give a sense that you are nurturing them or that they are characterized by their predicament.

 

Q3: Can I the personal experience of my mental health?

A: Use discretion. Some short, pertinent exchange can trivialize their emotions (I have felt that way before, as well). but remember the subject--this is not the moment to have a lengthy history of you.

 

Q4: Suppose they take an oath of secrecy, but I feel unsafe about them?

A: The security of your friend is more important than confidentiality. You need to get assistance in case they are a threat to themselves or others. You may tell me; I can no longer keep this a secret in case you are not safe. I should get your assistance since I do care about you.

 

Q5: What additional mental health first aid training do I need?

A: Find Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) certified programs in most communities and on the Internet through the efforts of such organizations as the National Council to Mental Wellbeing. These are 8-hour trainings that offer intensive training and certification.

 

Q6: What about the support to a person who already has therapy?

A: How well can you help them in their therapeutic work? Other times it can be as basic as asking how their session was this week or teaching them to cope. Also remain their friend and not their therapist.

 

Q7: What in case I appear to be the only person who can seem to see or care?

A: It may be as though it were a heavy burden. Get recruiting right--or maybe propose to mutually acquainted people that they contact more, or, in the event of seriousness, an adult or professional close to the patient. You do not need to be carrying it on your own.

 

Disclaimer

All the information utilized in this article should only be used as a way of learning and not as a replacement of professional medical or mental health education, diagnosis, and treatment. In case of crisis contacting emergency services or crisis hotline as soon as possible (e.g., 988). A professional should always be consulted in regard to any mental health issue. The author does not bear any responsible to any acts done on the basis of this content.

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